Reading this, you might feel like Sir Chaplin was quite the new age hippie…or love-guru…or prophet of deep truth and wisdom.
Whatever you wanna call it, i think what he says will strike a chord with all of us here at Coach A! <3 xoxo
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born.Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!
Who DOESN’T love trying new things?
Thats why i decided to just jump in to a full Fri-Sunday Weekend of Tantra called Real Men and Radiant Women with tantric experts extraordinaire, Layla Martin and Herman Ottosson, in NYC.
Here are 3 powerful take-aways from a weekend of embodying pleasure and radiance!
1. That thing you do in the shower or under the covers…it’s not actually called masturbation. It’s called Self Pleasuring – and doesn’t that just sound so.much.better?
Self Pleasuring INCLUDES giving yourself a lil’ special attention (if you know what i’m saying), but its not just about getting off. There’s so much more – like organic sesame oil breast massages, jade egg practices (google it), and creating a practice where you spend time just caressing and touching yourself with no other purpose or destination besides the pleasure of that moment. You could, for example, just put aside a few moments a day to touch yourself the way that makes you feel good – even if its just sensually running your fingers over your face and really feeling your own skin. It brings your face to life and makes you glowy.
2. Radiance is a choice that you can easily tune into any moment.
Your radiance is that magnetic glow that makes man, woman, child and squirrel gravitate towards you because you’re shining from the inside. Tantra shows how cultivating and activating your radiance can be really SIMPLE!
Layla Martin, the women’s tantra coach for the weekend, had us take a few moments to explore what kind of body language (the way you hold your body, the way you move your limbs, how you walk), what kind of breathing (deep, full body or shallow, rapid), and what kind of movement (dance, strut, jiggle) made us feel radiant.
You can make your own lil’ secret formula. Try it out, and in the meantime, here’s mine:
RADIANCE = shoulders are relaxed and back + my heart space is open and free + deep full body breathing + relaxing facial muscles with gentle smile
Now, whenever i want a lil’ radiance boost i just adjust my body accordingly, and presto! Now you try it! :)
3. Don’t Hide – for anyone, ever.
What do i mean by that?
Do you ever walk down the street and get attention that makes you feel uncomfortable? Maybe you barely notice it anymore because its such a part of your regular life. But it doesn’t need to be and you can change your autopilot way of dealing with it.
In my tantra group, it seemed like every woman of every age and every size and look had this experience of getting unwanted attention and dimming her glow in order to try and not be seen. For example, this could mean not being able to walk down the street without trying to cave in your chest and surrender your shoulders, bow your head and keep your eyes on the ground – all in order to just be left alone. Seems like it added some lackluster baggage to everyone’s life.
In class we expressed how we normally react in those situations, how we’d normally actually love to react (maybe yell in their face or express our disgust), and how we wish we could act in these situations. The wishes many women expressed were to keep their sense of self, of openness, of radiance and let the cackling commentary just become background noise or run off like water off a ducks back.
It might take some practice, BUT you totally can stay radiant in the face of anyone or anything they say. Allow yourself to improve rather than expecting perfection. You don’t have to get stern, hard, piercingly sarcastic or cave your shoulders in to make yourself small. You can be your whole self – have your raw, vegan, gluten free cake and eat it too.
An important distinction is not WHAT you do, like have an orgasm, but HOW you do it, like with oils and incense and music and love vibrations vs in under 30 seconds as you’re rushing and late for work.
Verdict: The HOW of life matters in Tantra.
What is one defiant act of radical radiance you can make TODAY in under 20 minutes? And what’s stopping you from actually doing it?
Stop Feeling Angry and Start Being Awesome
You know how sometimes someone says something that NAILS IT so well that you just have to whip out your phone and write it down?
Here’s one of those moments straight from NYC Personal Trainer, Jimmy P! We were talking ’bout life when suddenly he goes…
“I used to be mad about where I’m at and that life’s not how I want it to be – but then I realized that I haven’t put the work in yet to get the results that I deserve.”
My jaw dropped right down. And as if that wasn’t enough he then goes…
“The only way to know that is to be honest with yourself.”
I know there’s a lot of wise-guys in NYC, but this guy is WISE.
At that moment i realized that everything i’m “mad” about in life not being “right” …well, its not some kind of unfair punishment or insurmountable obstacle…its actually FULLY within my hands to change. Hearing that felt so freeing. And I’m thinking this might be true for all of us…what do you think?
Here’s a question to ask yourself:
What in my life am I mad about or frustrated with for not being the way its SUPPOSED to be?
This WisdomBite is About Your Relationship to Your Own Appearance
This Bite will make sense for you i’ve you ever…
- felt worse about yourself when you see an “ugly” picture of you
- felt validated, excited, and good about yourself when you saw a gorgeous picture of yourself
- questioned your own beauty
- got stuck staring at other people’s radiant Facebook photos or InstaGram photos and wondered what it would take for your life to be that great too
- practiced posing for pictures, like in Selfies, so you can “look good”
Man or Woman, Child, Mermaid, or Goat …. everyones wondered whether they are BEAUTIFUL, at least once!
We often find ourselves searching for our reflection in images. Like pictures, or videos.
Have you ever know a gorgeous guy or gal who consistently looks like crap in photos? Or do you know someone that’s a photo-queen – even robotically so? These photos don’t reflect the TRUTH we experience in real life, right? Thats because in pictures we only see a 2 Dimensional representation of ourselves.
The question becomes: is much of our attention and consciousness wrapped up in a world where 2 Dimensional Beauty rules supreme? What do you think? Have you seen this in your own life? How do you feel when you look at a magazine and its images of “reality”, or even an advertisement, or somebody’s expertly curated Facebook page? Especially when you might feel that in “flattened pancake form” you never seem to look as perfect as the professional models, or InstaGram’s Most Popular, or your friend with the best pictures ever- and Lord knows you try, so why doesn’t it work?
This would all be ok, if we were 2 Dimensional Beings. The reality is, WE’RE NOT! We’re at least THREEEEE Dimensional Beings. By flattening ourselves down into a 2-Dimensional world, and then worshipping that world, we’re missing the whole fun of our multidimensional reality.
You don’t have to live in a 2-Dimensional World with 2-Dimensional Pains and Problems. You can live free in MulitDimensional Fun! Want to actually ground this truth into your reality? Then, follow these simple 3 steps to get started!
1) TAKE ACTION: Make a choice!
You can see it as choosing between a 2 dimensional world which is a sliver of the reality available to you, but may somehow feel safer since you don’t have to put any skin in the game of Life, and let’s be real, it’s kind of addicting
- OR -
A multidimensional existence, where you live the fullness of your being in the Present Moment, and shine out your unshakeable True Beauty as you claim your right to fully BE you.
2) Next time if you wonder whether you’re beautiful, close your eyes, and feel deep deep into yourself by following your breath. Feel into THIS MOMENT, that you are in, and discover the fullness of your whole being. You’ll find the kind of beauty that nothing and no one can take away from you, because its IN you – it IS you.
3) Affirm this for yourself: “I am a multidimensional being and I am choosing to experience my own multidimensional beauty TODAY.”
Beauty is in fact a CHOICE, and its up to you to choose if you feel like being beautiful today.
Spend the rest of the day taking note of how you feel about your own appearance as you go through the day. If you feel you need some more support or have a question, send me a message at http://www.facebook.com/CoachAntonia – I’d love to help you.
Like what you read? Had an epiphany? Saw something from a different angle? Share it with a woman (or man) you care about by telling them what you realized and sharing this WisdomBite with them right now.
Sweet Tooth got the best of you?
I’ve been there.
I’ll spare you the lecture on the evils of sugar and how its ubiquitous influence is destroying our society.
The bottom line is that the kind of sugar you buy in a store and add to your food is in no way benefiting your mental, emotional, spiritual or physical health.
Yes, it may be a surprise, but you CAN eat TONS of sweet things without added sugar.
No one is asking you to be healthy at the cost of pleasure and satisfaction. Rather, quite the opposite.
You see, when you eat natural and healthy sweeteners, your body enjoys it at the moment of taste, then knows how to process it, and feels good afterwards.
When you eat crap sugar, you will enjoy it at the moment of taste, but then your body will freak out and have some kind of emergency reaction to it, and then you will have a sugar-hangover and your body will feel like crap and start building the kind of fat reserves that you just don’t need. You’ll feel more clouded, hazy, unable to concentrate, and worst of all – you’ll want MORE! That’s right. It will turn you into an addict.
The final straw? Diabetes. And did you know that diabetes might lead you to having a leg amputation? Who wants to intentionally and consciously create that for themselves? Fuuuuuudge that! Its one thing if you didn’t know, but I just told you, so sorry I’m not sorry to be the bearer of this news.
Feeling icky and panicked? Deep Breath. Fear not.
Life is beautiful, and you can continue eating all of the sweet delicacies the world has to offer if you just make a few simple, but profoundly-important, adjustments.
Stevia Leaves & extract
Coconut Blossom Sugar
Maple Syrup (used in small amounts)
Using RIPE fruits
Dried fruits (dates, raisins, prunes…)
There’s more if you keep experimenting and looking!
Agave – this one was touted as the sweetest sweetener with no side effects, but then abruptly lost its positive reputation. Inform yourself, and use consciously.
Highly processed honey (kills all the good stuff)
High fructose corn syrup
High maltose corn syrup
There’s more on this list too…
Doing things right INCREASES pleasure, enjoyment and quality of life. You get to eat sweets, be healthy, keep a strong body, have mental clarity, be free of addictions, AND keep both your legs. YIPPEE!
Want to get the MOST out of your sweets? Cleanse your taste buds.
That’s right. Those lil’ guys have been salivating and savoring for 20-something years, at least! They need a break and a reboot sometimes. And once you cleanse them, they taste everything x 10!
It’s like taking a magic pill that makes everything so vivid and delicious, except its really healthy for your whole body and is completely natural.
Whats the solution? A detox or cleanse! Preferably a green juice cleanse.
If you’re eating foods all the time, and especially high sugar foods, then your mouth might be numb, and just like a drug addict, need a higher and higher dose to feel something.
As you give your body time and space to heal itself and cleanse itself, it comes back stronger, more vivacious, and more sensitive.
Once you taste something sweet with a clean palate, you’ll be able to really EXPERIENCE it.
Get Clean. Live Free.
The Challenge: Go to a grocery store, health food store, or farmers market this weekend and purchase a healthy sweetener you’ve never tried before. Then, prepare or cook something with it.
If you’re already a pro and have something like stevia at home, make something to share with a friend who hasn’t tried it yet and don’t let them know there’s no sugar in there until after they’ve tried it!
There are some days when we just want to pig out and become one with the couch. Sometimes its even good for us to give the daily grind a rest and just…chill. So good.
But some of those days we go overboard – its not longer restorative, its degenerative.
We stuff ourselves, get lost on facebook, compulsively watch TV shows, and maybe have a pity party or just try to numb ourselves out.
There is a way to turn those days around, or at least, to soften the blow.
1. keep drinking WATER.
Even if you are eating your ho-hos, and the nacho chips, and drinking a root beer – KEEP DRINKING THE WATER. fill up a cup, right now, and start yer slurpin’!
- it will dilute the salt, sugar, fat, toxin load on your body – giving it a leg up on cleansing and rebalancing.
- it might just be that one act that connects you back to your true self and gives you that aha-moment of “oh, maybe i’m done with the Doritos.”
2. do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.
Ok, i get it – some days the daunting idea of doing 60 minutes of cardio just doesn’t rev one’s engine. and thats cool too. we aren’t robots. but, there’s nothing stopping you from doing a little movement. just cause you don’t want to go the whole 9 yards, don’t cheat yourself out of going just 9 steps.
do a little dance.
- put on your fav song and just DANCE – right where you are, right as you are. if you want to raise the stakes, groove to another song, or two.
go for a walk.
- chances are, you might already be in some comfy clothes. depending on the season, either just slip on some flippy-floppies or a big puffy jacket and get your tuchus out on the block. that’s right. be cool like that. and put one foot in front of the other till you did something crazy – like walked around the block. no one’s asking for a triathlon here. just a little fresh air. It will help with digestion, and the fresh air will help you refresh yourself.
if you’ve got someone to get jiggy with…
- what are you waiting for? it *does* count as exercise.
3. Forgive Yourself.
Yup, you feeling guilty and ashamed about what you’re up to only makes it worse.
Guilt and Shame will open that 2nd bag of Doritos, and guzzle it down too – because thats what they do.
It ain’t their fault – they’re born that way. But you’re not – you are beautiful and perfect – even if you’ve forgotten that, today. Maybe you’re having an indulgent day, and you feel like your guts might explode inside you, and its going against your weight loss plans.
You are still a wonderful, lovable person – and deserve your own love and compassion.
- forgiveness is the path to freedom. It sets us free from our own inner critic and inner judge – who hang out all thug-like with baseball bats casually swinging in their hands – menacing and analyzing every move. You can fire them. Yup, you are in charge. You can tell them to go take a vacation, or seriously just retire.
- once you’ve let go of guilt and shame, you no longer have to hide from yourself and its easier to step out of the self-destructive vortex. Its easier to get “back on the horse.” Its easier to take that walk, or have that drink of water, or do that dance, or make some love. My spidey-senses say its got something to do with a rebalancing of your ego. When you are forgiven – you have nothing to prove, nothing to hide, nothing to defend…NOTHING TO RUN INTO THE DONUT BOX FROM. And proving, hiding, and defending is the job of a disbalanced ego.
There you go! You can be back on track! If you need extra support, shoot me a message (click Connect on the Top Menu).
I believe in you! YOU CAN DO IT.
All the love in the world!